Rallying phrases (I)

Underachievers of the World Unite, If You Can!

Wilson Mizner

Be nice to people on the way up, because you'll meet them on your way down.

On skewed statistics

A 50:50 chance is always 90:10 against you.

On the search for meaning

Meaningfulness is overrated.

Ownership

More often Money has the people than people have the money.

George S. Patton

No poor bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making other bastards die for their country.

On originality

Originality is when you have an idea that few other people have also had before.

Curious facts that can be used in your populist speech

Democracy is almost an anagram of mediocracy.

Get mad, don't get even!

If you bump onto a wall, and you blame the wall for it, and you feel the furious urge to retaliate, consider that the wall may be stronger than you, and you may end up hurting yourself even more.

Useful aforism template

By filling in the blanks below you may create your own customized version of a clever aforism which you may use as a witty remark in numerous conversations.

Inside of every _____ there is a _____ struggling to get out.

Dos and Don'ts

Assume nothing. Prepare for everything. Trust no one. Babble about anything.

The fish metaphor

Keep your head off water. Unless you are a fish.

Explanation of the metaphor: if you have scales, try to figure out which is the best way to survive. It may not be obvious. If you don't have any scales, despite the differences the same principle applies.

Grace Murray Hopper (Say, who? Check Wikipedia!)

When in doubt, do it.  It's much easier to apologize than to get permission.

Use your happiness, quickly!

Money can buy happiness, but its expiration date is awfully short.

Politics for dummies / Politics for the masses

POLITICIANS ARE NOT GODS! Politicians can only promise miracles, it's not their job to actually perform them!

Useful tips for the amoral lifestyle

Concerning blood stains:

Don't worry much about them. Even though many will tell you that blood stains are very difficult, if not impossible, to come off, don't waste your valuable time looking for recipes that will teach you how to clean those up. Experience tells that even the ugliest blood stains tend to fade away with time and, in fact, this is a detail of tidyness that doesn't bother most people that much in their ordinary daily lives.