Life on the edge

I have been living an ordinary life, and I have survived... so far.

Edward Gorey

Life is intrinsically, well, boring and dangerous at the same time. At any given moment the floor may open up. Of course, it almost never does; that’s what makes it so boring.

Second-hand thrills

It sucks to live in these times. There's nothing new left for you to discover or experience. Everything already has a name.

The other real life (V)

Life has many twists and turns and not always right ones.

Conditional delusions of grandeur

I will have a great future ... if I survive to the end of the week.

The other real life (IV)

We need to live twice: in the first life we learn how to do things and in the second we do them right.

Healthy relationships

Keep your expectations low. It may come as a surprise to you, but not all people will appreciate how clever, insightful and funny you are. If you find anyone who does, then stalk that person in a pathological way. You two were made for each other.

The other real life (III)

Everybody is out there living their exciting lives, while I'm here stuck with my dull one. I want to be out there as well, living other people's lives.

The other real life (I)

Real people are beautiful too.

Here's a suggestion for scoring real-people-beauty items:

• cute little asymmetric eyes (different sizes, different colors, a squinting eye, etc.) - 25 pts.

• charming little scar - 10 pts.

• broken nose with character - 10 pts.

• itsy-bitsy moles/freckles - 30 pts.

• conspicuously big ears - 10 pts.

• not quite perfectly aligned teeth - 15 pts.

• nicely weird (exquisite) natural hair color or hair style - 50 pts.

• a sensual overweight - 45 pts.

• classical protuding round belly - 30 pts.

• generously wide waist/large hips/big bottom - 35 pts.

• statuesque big feet - 20 pts.

• cute stubbornly unshaved body hair - 100 pts.

• bonus if more than two of the above qualities are there - 30 pts.

• bonus if all of the above qualities are there - well, I don't know, that's more reality than I can handle!